Words

Words are just a bunch of letters, a logical sequence of characters that together result in something that, sometimes, can even be illogical. And that’s all. There’s nothing special about this. There are like, millions of words and billions of different sequences. Still, some of them really means a lot, no matter how simple they are.

How can you be so sure that a word said in the right moment will not change the whole universe? How can you know that a ‘Good night’ said to no one will not change this someone’s night and really provide a good night and save the world? You dont. You can risk it, because in the end it’s just a bunch of letters, a tiny sound that would make no sense if never heard it before. Still, you dont know. I dont know. Maybe I should have said some words that I never did, and this could have changed so much.

There are words that I could have said, some I should have said, I’m perfectly aware of that because I regret some of those moments, these lost possibilities. Not really the words, they dont matter at all. But what they could have caused, what they could have changed. Some moments dont need words at all, things just happens by luck, fate, or something like that. Sometimes a simple look or a very discreet smile are much better than any word. A laugh may not exactly be a word, still, sometimes it’s so much good to hear.

Still, we don’t know. Maybe some words should have been said, some questions should have been asked, some answers could have been different, maybe even some things should have been written on the first page of a book. Who knows? Maybe even this text would not change anything. Words are just a bunch of letters, and this text is just a bunch of words. Right?

Always Where I Need to Be

I am a machine.
You’re so sensitive

I got too many friends
Too many people that I’ll never meet
And I’ll never be there for

And there’s always another point of view,
A better way to do the things we do

Forever and a day
In the time of my life
‘Cause I need more time
Yes, I need more time just to make things right

Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move

Turns out that everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

I don’t care about what they say
I won’t live or die that way

One day you’ll leave this world behind
So live a life you will remember

And I need somewhere to begin
I believe in the lost possibilities you can’t see

‘Cause I’m always where,
I need to be,
And I always thought,
I would end up with you eventually,

Some things tie your life together

So never let me go, never let me go

Time’s Scar

What was the start of all this?
When did the cogs of fate begin to turn?
Perhaps it is impossible to grasp that answer now,
From deep within the flow of time.

But for a certainty, back then
We loved so many yet hated so much
We hurt others and were hurt ourselves.

Yet even then we ran like the wind
Whilst our laughter echoed
Under cerulean skies…

(Chrono Cross – Opening)

Through iron and woods

“At least I did something good”, that’s what I’ve been thinking in the last few days. I’m not sure what it is, or if I indeed did something, but it makes me happy, makes me think that all this Winter Wars thing is not so bad as I think it is. If I keep my head up, my eyes on the future and don’t let some things drag me down, everything will be just fine.

Took me some years to realize the meaning of a text that I read some years ago, a text that talks about rarity and that has some phrases that, until now, never made full sense to me. And I never truly understood that. Some words about bonds, some feelings and of course, rarity, always gave me a slight idea about what was that about, and to be honest I never truly accepted that. But now, everything is different.

Some things indeed have not changed. For example, it´s still just a matter of time and I still need to wait, and there are words that cannot be said and things that may never happen, and sure, some battles to fight. Honestly, now, in this exact moment, I’m not worried about what will happen. Sure, there´s still a master plan and there´s a lot that I would like to happen, but if everything goes wrong at least I did something good. Right?

There are good days and bad days. I dont care much about the bad ones lately, since I prefer to think that I will have another chance. But there are some good days where everything that I wrote here become exceptionally true, and in some of these days there are some things that, if I am lucky enough, I can see. There are some little details that makes all the difference on the world, there are things that other people also see but not in the same way I do, and as I said, sometimes, if got lucky enough, for a brief moment, through woods and iron I can see what is the meaning of rarity. And suddenly, everything makes sense.

Winter Wars

Not so pretty as the summer wars, silently, the winter wars started. I don´t know exactly when, I don´t know exactly the moment that changed everything, and probably wasn´t just one moment, it couldn´t be that simple. However I know why it has started, I know clearly all the reasons and motives that lead to this. It will not be just a war, there will be no easy battles and no moments of peace. It will be a one man army against all the odds.

If I win, I´ll have a good story to tell my friends, and I´ll be proud of it. I’ll be happy, I’ll remember everything, I’ll sing all the songs that are waiting to be heard. I’ll look back and I’ll not regret anything, because in the end, it will be worth it. But if I lose, no one will never know about it. Some words will never be said and some voices will never be heard, I’ll still remember everything for all the years to come, always questioning why and how and never accepting the results. Why should I accept this? I´m not fighting for nothing, I´m fighting for everything.

I wish I could say when it will be over, but I can’t. I can just keep fighting day by day on battles of words and silence, counting every win as a good reason to smile and keep my hopes alive. The real problem here is even if I said to “just wait”, time waits for no one and I may lose this war no matter how hard I can fight. The wolf may be closer, but time is running up.

The winter wars are definitely not as beautiful as the summer wars. But they could end in the same way.

Time is on your side

Just wait. Time is on your side. Be calm, look, think, wait. Wish, ask everyday for it, imagine. If something will change, keep doing your best, because good things come to those who wait. For now, the best words are silence and the best future is just a hope. For now, a simple letter makes all the difference, even if there’s no difference.

Until something changes, keep your head up and your eyes open. Don’t let yourself down, don’t be sad and don’t suffer. Peace is a lie, remember? So don’t be afraid. Keep fighting centaurs and chasing wolfs. Kill your doubts and solve your problems. Let the time pass, and everything, eventually, will be fine.

Listen to your thoughts, talk with your friends. Trust no one. Still, let them talk, let them give their opinions, maybe something good comes from this. In the end, all depends on you, and you’ve got all the time in the world.

In every place there’s a sign, in everything there’s a reason, in every person there’s a hint. The dog days aren’t over yet, and maybe they will never be, but there’s a good reason to try and to wait. Just wait. Maybe it’s something in the way you move or something your saw yesterday, maybe it’s just a perfect point of view or maybe it’s really just like a very simple movie.

And after all, if nothing good comes from this, at least you’ll have something to remember. Maybe something to cheer you up, but certainly nothing to regret. Just wait.

Peace is a lie

Só existe paixão. Ou sentimentos, como preferir, mas não existe paz, paz é uma mentira. A principio isso tudo são só palavras de um velho código, mas como é possível que se tenha paz quando tudo que se faz resulta ou é resultado de algum sentimento? Qualquer sensação, ideia, sentimento, acontecimento causa algum tipo de mudança por menor que seja. É comum que as pessoas confundam paz com alegria ou simplesmente não ter nenhum sentimento como tristeza ou preocupação, mas mesmo as emoções consideras boas causam uma quebra de equilíbrio, fazendo com que a dita paz jamais exista. A paixão por outro lado é o que nos motiva, é aquela sensação que te obriga a fazer algo mesmo que você tenha dúvidas, é a razão que faz questionar e que te impulsiona a tentar coisas novas, e o que no fim das contas, nos da força (mas isso é outra linha e outra história).

É difícil acreditar em paz quando o menor dos acontecimentos pode mudar todo o seu mundo, e o que antes parecia tão simples subitamente se torna tão importante a ponto de fazer você questionar tudo e todos, imaginando mil cenários e mil possibilidades. Todos os dias o seu mundo muda, devido a grandes ou pequenos acontecimentos, motivados por sentimentos e paixões. Tão certo como o tempo, é certo que do mesmo modo que o sol aparece pela manhã, vão existir alegrias, e do mesmo modo que a lua surge, vão surgir tristezas, dando continuidade ao ciclo dos dias e das motivações e sentimentos, tornando impossível que exista qualquer paz e qualquer certeza. Na verdade, a única certeza é que tudo sempre muda, e se realmente só existe paixão, é mesmo bom que estas mudanças sejam capazes de tirar sua paz e fazer você questionar todas as certezas que se tinha? Se não existe nenhuma certeza e não existe paz, é de fato melhor ser sensível, ou ser uma máquina?